While having lunchie, suddenly i dont know wat i had been doing lately.
time and time again, i had also get entwindled into relationship problems. *tiring*
Sometimes ago, I had been hanging out wif this friend of mine.
Perhaps it can be considered as dating or watever. *I dont really know what is consider dating lor*
Of coz, there's liking involved here, not me but him to me.
But i had rejected him, on the fact that he is younger and definitely look younger than me.
But me, did something bad.
Though we aint couple, we actually can hold hands and strolled along a park. *only once and it feel weird*
Weird right? For once, i guess, i'm not sure what i'm doing.
Want someone to b there for me, to shower me with the love, yet knowing its an impossible to carry on.
Hmm. I sound like a bitch. =(
That has become a past.
Now, another person has appeared in my life.
This person, from the start, never never will I had a future with, due to some reasons.
*shall not say out the reason due to some complication*
In fact, before he even tried to take the 1st step to woo me, I had already tell/warn him, dont ever try coz its impossible.
Well, I may sound bad, coz dun even give him a chance, but then, really really... its impossible.
I still go out with him. friends ma..
And its comfy to be out wif him, he is nice, gentle and sweet. *then again, to me, all guys, when they are going after u, they sure to b nice and sweet ma, right?*
But i believe, he is really sweet to anyone la.
and again, i did something wrong.
We actually hold hands and walk along Botanical Gardens. *feeling is weird coz not couple, but somehow, it feels gd but the moment out of the gardens, its different liao*
I know, all will b wondering,
Jas ah Jas, do you know wat you are doing?
Do you know you are playing with fire?
Relax..
I'm not playing with fire. As I had confirmed with him and according to him, I did not ever try to mislead him b4. Phew.. =p
Just tat he feel comfy going out with me, being in my company.
I know wat i'm doing, and in my heart, i'm bery bery sure, we are impossible.
Being the rational me, I wont try.. dont tink i will. Too much complication will arise out of it and I doubt I can handle.
But at times, it jus feel so good... so good to have someone loving you, sayanging you.
*It really feels good to feel loved*
I do, at times, craves for affection, for love, yet I had no wish to step into a r'ship right now.
Perhaps, I'm wat others categorize as "selfish" ba.
And at times, i'm real tempted, tempted to get into the r'ship though knowing there's no future.
Only tempted, coz at moment like this, my logic thinking will take over. fast. as usual. =X
Frankly, i initially had no intention of bloggin all these out, as these are truly from the bottom of my heart, my confusion and my inner thoughts.
Esp the above i blogged, some of you may feel tat Jas is such a bitch to do things like that.
But then, bloggin is like writing diary to me.
and i accounted to myself and myself alone.
of coz, my dear frens, feel free to give me some comments, okay? =)
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