The sorrow? the regret?

Well, as i stated, I went dinner with my colleagues.
Also meeting Alvin too .


Went Hooters to eat.
Ex lor. hee...


Then proceed to have a drink @ tis place called Talkative Pub @ Club St.


Hmm....


Went off @ 2 plus am .. coz need to wake up early the next day for the jog.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Hmmm...


didnt really talk much with him, coz he didnt really want to talk to me. =X


Something happen and for some reason, i asked him some stupid questions.
Questions that in the first case, i shldnt have asked.


I asked him, why cant we be just normal friend?


To this he reply saying he's quite happy with the way it is now.


Which is not on talking term to me.


I asked him again, isnt being friends back as nice?


He said something quite harshly ...


He said, he want to let me know, that its me to want to end this r'ship, that its me who want to break up with him, thus i had to take up the responsilibity.


But responsiblity of what?
Of making him miserable?


That is not my aim.
My aim is to make myself less miserable and less hurt by him.
He made me miserable... He hurt me so much.
I just want to make myself happier. just that.


I ask him back, if he really know the reason for the breakup anot....
I believed he knew. and he remained silent.


I guessed, I'm at fault.
I couldnt and shouldnt expect him to let go so easily and so fast.


It takes time.
And its not time yet.


Its not time yet coz when his friend (aka. my colleague) asked him abt his prev. r'ships, he told her everything, except abt me, reason given was its not time yet.


Its not time yet, else he would be able to treat me like a normal friend.


Perhaps i thought cant be lover, still can friends.
But guessed, not everyone can accept this fact.


Not everyone 可以轻易拿得起，放得下.
I can, coz years back, i tried to maintain the friendship b4, even though i was "ditched".


Guess i think too simple, perhaps, insensible and thoughtless on my part?


I just want to have this friend back, is it that hard?


Now makes me to think,
if choosing between getting into a r'ship with a friend is the right thing anot.


In the past, i feel, a r'ship that blossomed from friendship will be so nice and pretty...
As both understand each other well enough to consider being together and be with each other.


If its successful, of coz its gd.
But if it fail... i might end up losing a friend, which is something i dont wish to happen.


I'm equally tired too.
Wonder if i had make a mistake from the start, by getting into this r'ship?


Yes.. i know, again, me back at this question again.


But I do feel he is a good friend to have.


Well, if its not meant to be, then its not meant to be.
No amount of talking/thinking/watever will change this fact.


I shall let things remain the way it is ba.

His nick today is:

I dunno wat you wan... i dunno wat i wan..
Do juz keep it this way ok?
I'm realli realli beri tired ...


what's there to be tired of? I wonder ...


我的要求不多，只想做回朋友。
但既然不可能，那就算了吧。
也许这样是最好的结果吧。